The war not only killed the youth, the elderly, and the women, but also the killing machine had reached into the wombs of mothers in their first months of pregnancy. This was a result of the intense fear they were under, which affected their fetuses. This is what was seen in the ultra-sound imaging in several cases, especially those from the hot zones. Where it is possible they inhaled Phosphor and other poisonous and toxic materials due to the use of unknown and unprecedented materials.

The number of natural births during the time of the war from the end of last December 2008 to the end of January reached to 952 natural births, in contrast to 290 Cesarean sections, while the rate of miscarriages rose where 72 cases of miscarriage as a result of the fear factor, panic, and exposure to Phosphor.

Dr. Hasan Al-Loh deputy director of the maternity wards and director of the outpatient clinics had stated that; "The problem lays in the cases of the miscarriages, early births, bleedings, and risk pregnancies, and what follows from raised pressure of the pregnant women and the death of the fetuses within the wombs of women. This period of time has witnessed an increase in the rate of fetal death".

He also said; "Natural births had decreased in these times due to the imposed siege, and the division of the Gaza Strip into three areas, making it impossible to reach these cases. As such many women gave birth in their homes either by the help of family members or referring to Midwives “dayas”, or doctors in private or public clinics where two clinics were opened in Beit Lahia and Al-Awdah in Jabaliya for those living in the border hot zones.

 

Many examples of birth situations during the war were mentioned. An example of this is what happened with one woman from the Samouni family who had suffered a horrible massacre against them during the war. She gave birth to her child inside the house and had sustained a post birth bleeding. Dr. Al-Loh explained that considering the state of extreme emergency which the medical crews had underwent during the war, there is probably a large number of women whom died while pregnant, and they haven't been able to determine that because of the pressure on the crews which continued day and night.

 And Al-Loh continued: "The main recovery hospitals accepted tens of natural births during the 22 days of war, and that these women came with no preparation or readiness, or even clothing for their newborns. There wasn't any clothing or capability to provide clothing; hence some clothes were borrowed from other patients that were at the hospital at the time".

 Dr. Al-Loh also said: "Despite the maternity ward working in a state of emergency around the clock on a 24 hour basis as regular routine, the cases witnessed during the war had never been experienced before. We have seen for example a rare incident where a woman had given birth inside an ambulance, what had happened during the war had never experienced by the maternity ward before".

Dr. Al-Loh had revealed that the possibility of the existence of deformities of the fetuses within the wombs according to what was shown by the medical imaging machines had increased, and that they used to see four conditions of deformed fetuses a month, and that during the last month alone they have seen 6 such conditions, and they haven't been able to get a final number on these deformities, following the months of pregnancy as a result of being exposed to phosphor and other chemical and toxic substances, showing that the materials used by the Israeli occupation forces in their war on  Gaza strip, it is expected to see more of these deformities and inflictions in the future. Especially since there are pregnant women who had been directly injured, after it had been proven that phosphor was among the weapons used. That if the cell tissues were reached, Cancerous cells could appear, and therefore affect the fetuses inside their wombs and deformities can happen.

 

 

The hospital stated that it received a number of patients inflicted with fainting and hysteria, and early births had occurred because of the fear factor and terror which the pregnant women had suffered. Not to mention the arrival of women with critical injuries during birth, such as what happened in the area of Beit-Lahia north of the strip, a woman had her legs amputated and underwent a cesarean, and she died afterwards.

 It was said that: there were cases of other women giving birth in their eighth month of pregnancy, whom had been inflicted with shrapnel in the brain, she and her fetus were lost. Another woman in her eighth month was killed with her family in the Karamah area after they were hit with direct rocket fire.

 Other situations far more tragic have been spoken of than those mentioned. And that there were women whom suffered bilateral sterility for many long years and had been in vitro fertilized. Despite the physical and mental suffering they lived through this procedure, they had lost their three fetuses in the last months of pregnancy during a cesarean which was caused by fear and terror from the bombing. Another woman had lost her twins whom she was waiting for.

 

 Dr. Al-Loh also said "During the days of the war the entire sections of the hospital were converted to treat and operate on the wounded, including the maternity wards. As well as opening the delivering rooms for the injured. As well as converting parts of the maternity wards to accept the medical envoys which came to the Gaza strip to assist in treating the wounded and injured".

 Dr. Al-Loh also explained that he had to postpone the cesarean operations that were not emergencies, as well as other operations for women such as, tumor, and womb removal, and only emergency cases of natural birth were dealt with. Showing that the period of the war has seen an increased number of bleedings inflicted on pregnant women, as well as cases of miscarriage, and hysteria, and fear. Pointing out that he used to receive between 40-50 cases during the break periods of the medical teams, which never went over two hours.

 He also clarified that there were other problems faced the medical teams, which was dividing the strip into several areas, which made it impossible for the teams in the south to go, especially those in the center, and they were replaced by the teams which were reserved in Gaza city and couldn't return home. Especially the female nurses who had done their required roles around the clock, and dormitories were opened for them and their basic needs were supplied. But at the same time they were worried because of their distance from their families and children because of the siege and war.

 

 

 One of the cases that had happened on the second day of the entry of the occupation's land forces was a woman named Runda G. (30 years old) from Al-Tufah neighborhood going through labor. She said that she faced the most difficult birth in her life, where she was scheduled for a cesarean on the first week of the war, but the emergency crews had to delay it because of the war, and not doing the operation until she had labor pains, which surprised her the second day of the land invasion when the situation was at its worst with bombing in every direction and the refusal of the ambulance to take her to a hospital because of the emergent situation and the pressure that was on the work of the ambulance crews. And after much suffering her husband, brother, and mother managed to move her to a clinic under fire where she gave birth to a little girl who died after birth immediately, stating this experience was extremely difficult and hard to describe.

She added that: there was not enough water to prepare the child for her burial, and her father faced difficulties in gathering even a cup full of water, he prayed on her in a mosque near the clinic, and buried her in one of the nearby cemeteries alone, her mother revealed that she had to leave the clinic the next day, despite the dangerous repercussion on her life.

 

 

Dr. Al-Loh, had shown that there are many women who had shown their wish to have children after many years of not bearing any, in a desire from them to compensate for the loss of their children during the war. Especially since most of the victims were children, and that there were some families who lost all their children, and had no hope in alleviating their pain, only perhaps with the smile of a child, and the return of some form of  life.

 As for N.A. who was waiting for her first child after 20 years of infertility, only to see that the occupation's air force did not have mercy for yearning of having a child. And this case is not the first as Dr. Al-loh had said; "There were many women whom were impregnated via artificial insemination, and tube children. And some were in the month of birth, only to have their dreams unfulfilled, as they suffered miscarriages due to panic, fear, or direct injury".

 Dr. Al-Loh requested for studies on the effects of war on women, especially those whom are pregnant, and to provide workshops and advanced labs, to discover the size and effects of the destruction which the last war left behind on the Gaza strip, and its consequences on the future generations.

 

 

 

To which extent has the war on Gaza affected women and children? What can civil society organisations offer women in Gaza? What more is needed to be done? Those were just a few questions, in addition to some headlines tackled in last weeks video conference, held by, Women's Affairs Technical Committee, between the West Bank and Gaza. The conference was attended by a large number of women activists, members of women associations, as well as, representatives from civil society organisations. The seminar aimed at highlighting the current situation facing women in Gaza. Moreover, intended to find ways to support their perseverance, try to heal their wounds, and to suffice their needs today and in the long run.

 

During the seminar, development specialist, Taisir Mohaysin, talked about the role of civil society after the war on Gaza. He also mentioned the struggles people in Gaza endure, especially after loosing their homes, in addition to the large number of casualties’ and disabilities. Mohaysin, found that the main goal of the last Israeli offensive is to divide the country into two, to abolish the right of a Palestinian state, and to eliminate the Palestinian partner in the peace process. Additionally, Mohaysin mentioned other objectives to the war in Gaza, which include creating a shared memory for Palestinians’, reminding them of death, military force against them and their displacement as a nation.

 

Mohaysin stated, that the destruction targeted infrastructure in all its forms, while mass killings and executions of civilians largely included women and children. However, Mohaysin, contrasted between the war on Gaza with that of previous incursions. He noted that incursions would target agricultural land, which completely destroyed agriculture. Yet, the war on Gaza was savage and is clearly a crime against humanity. Israel did not hesitate in committing war crimes in Gaza, by using all kinds of weapons, and all that is internationally forbidden, such as white phosphor. What is alarming is that women and children were among the biggest physical victims in this war and now suffer from psychological torment. 

 

Mohaysin added: ''my fear, is that Israel considers it does not have much time left, which consequently means they will attack again, only this time more brutally. Nevertheless, when that happens the Israeli's will face stronger resistance, which will increase the number of martyrs that have already exceeded a thousand and five hundred. Also, there is the dread of Israel forcing once more the displacement of Palestinians''.

 

Therefore, Mohaysin finds that organisations of civil society have a big role to play in Gaza. However, the current situation in Gaza prevents their work. He said: ''today after the war, statistics show there is less freedom, and there is restrictions to the individual civil, as well as group work of people distributing aid. In addition, ministries of the former government check and monitor organizations of civil society''.

 

He added: ''we find that we should work in more than one field. First, there is the field of aid and rebuilding of structure. In order to do so, we are to house those who have lost their homes and means of lively hood, mainly agriculture. Nonetheless, there are obstacles, such as, no building material, scarcity in basic goods, in addition to lack of psychological therapy for women and children in order to overcome their shock. There is also the need to find a way to get the educational system back on track. Second of all, we are to work in rebuilding political unity. The West Bank and Gaza strip has to reunite as one country, as there is no excuse for this political division''.

 

Furthermore, Zeinab Al-Ghunaimi, head of a women's legal consultancy, pointed out that women had suffered both directly and indirectly during this war. They were among the dead martyrs, the injured, there are those who became widows, and there is no way to calculate psychological disorders. Al-Ghunaimi added: ''we were told during surveying that a large number of women take anti-depressants and sleeping pills, as a result of the psychological strain. In the long run, these drugs, as well as the effects of white phosphor, will deteriorate the health of women.''

 

Al-Ghunaimi explained: ''we are not stating these facts to gain sympathy or media coverage, but to receive crucial emergency aid. Organisations are still functioning, but have scarcity in resources, due to the war. This is emphasized with lack of shelters, and the inability to directly respond with aid. We did not have the finances needed or appropriate programmes, as we were not anticipating such a vicious attack. We did not have enough people to give psychological help, and we were not allowed to enter destroyed areas or shelters. The former government enforced a policy which they printed in Al-Risaleh newspaper. It states that it is forbidden to record any of the Israeli crimes without informing the government. Additionally, it is also forbidden to record internal incidents without contacting the highlighted numbers. When calling the numbers it became clear they are for the legal committee of the legislative council. The reason for this is to avoid publication of incorrect information, like the incident which occurred with Al-Samoni family''.

 

Al-Ghunaimi, mentioned the steps organisations of civil society need to take, in order to, aid Gaza, through implementing emergency services for women. For example, by paying university tuition of female students whose houses have been demolished and have been forced to move elsewhere. Another way could be by creating job opportunities for women, such as training them to provide psychological support for their families, which they will be paid for. Al-Ghunaimi goes on to state: '' we now have organisations which can offer psychological treatment to all women. We can offer this support through the organisations and students. By doing this, we have supported the organisations, women and families. Furthermore, we offer legal advice. We were surprised to find legal problems resulting due to the war. There are cases concerning divorce, inheritance, custody of children, and authority. There are also political issues which are confidentially discussed. Therefore, we need legal support, which is carried out by lawyers of both sexes.''

 

Moreover, Dr. Islah Jad, pointed out the necessity of a committee in charge of coordinating between different organisations within the West Bank in order to support Gaza. On the other hand, from a legal and developmental perspective, Lawyer, Karim Nashwan, saw it crucial to document all acts against humanity. Thus, different organisations in Gaza need to divide this task among them accordingly. Meaning, each organisation is to document within their field of work. For there are organisations dealing with the right to existence, others, with the right to a secure place to live, and others for the right to a healthy well-being, etc.

 

In addition, Nadia Abu-Nahler, head of the Women's Affairs Technical Committee in Gaza, emphasized the need to prioritise as women. She said: ''It is essential that we do not forget our rights as women; we have to adapt the laws concerning the widows of martyrs, concerning inheritance and custody. We must not make the mistake of working on emergency aid, for that is the work of the UNRWA and the government''.

 

Finally, after lengthy discussion between the participants, a number of recommendations were concluded. Among these, the necessity of documenting Israeli war crimes in Gaza, the importance of creating a united national plan of action for emergency aid, as well as, long term assistance in Gaza. Additionally, there is to be coordination between women organisations, with those of civil society, in order to create a complete support system. The female participants called upon women organisations not only to focus on emergency aid, but to develop programmes to create job opportunities for women, as well as, financially supporting female students at university level by paying their tuition fees.

 

 

 

 

The sound of footsteps, strange scenes, faces that are not like faces, is this a dream? Where am I? These were the first thoughts that came to my tired memory when I opened my eye, to find myself in an unknown place. I looked around me and found several machines and smell of disease in every nook and cranny. I looked to my left hand and found it connected to wires and a strange device, I tried to move, but I felt sharp pains and I thought twice before attempting to do so again.

Little by little, I began to take in everything around me, I still couldn't feel anything, and my mind was still unable to discern anything. I couldn't remember anything. Oh my god, is there anyone here? I want to see someone, where am I? What has happened to me? I have to get up, maybe I can find answers outside this room. I stretched my right hand to remove the wires restraining my left hand.

 But there was no left hand! A scream of terror escaped from me and I didn't feel anything happen to me after that until I woke up again to more voices of people. Who are you? Where am I? A young doctor approached me, fatigue and exhaustion apparent on him had said to me :(( Thank God your OK, we have lost hope you would wake up)).

How long have I been here?

 

"We will talk later, you need to relax and sleep a little bit” He answered me. “I am fine, answer me who are you?” I yelled in his face. He sat down in a seat opposite to me and replied “you are in an Egyptian hospital; you were a mess when you arrived-”

 

Where is everyone else?

 

It was silence, then he answered “you came alone... there is no one else left but you”. More silence then I looked towards my hand asking him what happened to it. Tears crept out of his eyes as he answered me “you came here without a hand, please rest a bit, we need you to remain calm in your bed until we are certain your health is stable”.

 

Okay, I am tired, and I can't remember anything. The doctor left and closed the door behind him. I closed my eyes and began to piece together what happened that night; I tried hard to remember something to get me out of my confusion, what happened to us? Why am I in Egypt? I felt the haziness returning again. Its alright, tomorrow will come and father will explain what happened to me. I looked to my hand again. I wonder, was it an accident? Why don't I feel sad or hurt? Oh God what has happened to me? It's my hand!

 

 A trip of thoughts torn and fought my tormented mind that night, I lost my ability to feel anything. I did not regret losing my hand, I did not feel anything, I began to cry, and can you not see I am sad? I wondered why wasn't anyone here to refresh my exhausted memory. That was the first night after I wake up from my coma which continued for almost a month or maybe more, that is what my doctor told me the morning of the next day when I woke to the sound of his movements beside me. “How do you feel” he asked me. "I felt nothing", I told him, "please stay and sit with me for a while, I am going crazy, I want to know how I came here and where is the rest of my family?" “When you are feeling better we will talk more, please don't tire yourself, you are still in intensive care” and then he left me and exited the room. I stayed in my confusion for a few days, until that night which stormed my memory and took me back to the past.

 

We were so afraid, the sounds of violent bombings, planes, shells, a cloud of fear set itself upon our home; I crawled out of my hiding place in the corner of the room heading towards my father, who had taken the corner across from me as his shelter. Daddy, are we going to make it? “Lives are in the hand of God don't worry, go to bed and pray to God that we will get through our night in peace” I went to my bed where my little sister slept there besides me, the night was cold where we were used to leaving the doors and windows open, securing our safety in the case of a violent quake, I took a place for me besides my sister who woke up from my movement telling me she was afraid, I patted her little head assuring her “don't worry precious, I am right next to you, don't be afraid”. I helplessly tried to sleep, struck with heavy worry, the sounds of the bombing grew more, and their intensity increased, they got closer and closer. My sister gripped my hand and hanged on to me more and more and told me once more “I am afraid”, I tried to reassure her, but the sound of my heart beating was stronger than my words for her. We took to ourselves, talking and playing, entertaining ourselves, trying to ignore the sound of the planes, I began telling her stories for hours until sleep defeated me and I gave up to it. I had barely closed my eyes until the sound of planes shrieked across the skies; it felt as if the roof of the house was going to be a landing strip for those planes.

 

I looked towards my sister and found her still awake staring into the darkness with worrying eyes, watching, her heart beating strongly, I held her hand underneath the sheets telling her “whatever happens don't let go of my hand, hold my hand tightly” She smiled and told me “alright I won't let go of your hand, but promise me you won't let go of my hand, we will stay together forever”. She closed her eyes and gave in to the ghosts of her sleep once more. I tried to sleep hoping this nightmare of a night would end, but I didn't know the celebrations were just about to start in a moment. And suddenly the sound of a violent explosion, and the room around me turned into a bright torch of orange and red, or maybe it was yellow, that's all I remembered that instant as my body was lifted into the sky, I felt myself soaring in space, and that fragile body slammed forcefully into the ground, I began to scream, hold on to my hand tightly don't let go of it hold my hand tightly....hold on to it tightly, she was gone, and my hand with her, for fate had made it a memory for me, for death has chosen her and did not choose me, I wish it chose us together, the sounds blended into each other, their volume had become deafening, many people, pieces spread here and there, chunks of fire still burning, they carried what was left of me, I screamed again, hold my hand tightly, don't let go of it no matter what happens, the sounds of screaming increased and echoed in my dark room, hands formed together around me, my scream had awaken me from my deep sleep, they struggled to calm me down fearing its consequences on me anew, I screamed... I laughed... I cried.... I grew pale, and decided to return to my coma again.

 

 

 

From Jubaiha, Al-bak'aa refugee camp appears to be rows of homes forcefully built; rows overcrowding one another at the bottom of the valley. The car would shake from one moment to another; where at times it would slow down to avoid holes in the road resulted from road works. It was my first visit to this refugee camp, and many questions were coming to mind, such as: will I be welcomed there; will the topic of gender be accepted by the trainees?

 

The car shook again but this time with force, I could hear the stationary, in addition to the training material moving in the car trunk, a sound which frightened me. Sudden noises still scare me, and take me back a few years, when a sudden sound meant the sound of rockets, the bombing of a building, or shelling from an F16 fighter plane. Every time I begin to think I am over the fear of sudden noise, I discover I am still haunted.

 

Yesterday was not easy, I had to finish off work in the office before leaving for Amman. This was possible to do due to last months change to extend the border bridge's opening hours, leaving it open till 4:00pm instead of 1:00pm. I hate travelling. I have travelled too much and have been away from my homeland too long with no choice of my own. Nevertheless, I live there now and want it to be my final destination. Sadly though, my homeland has been transformed into a large prison, where it has become necessary to leave once in a while in order to get the chance to breath. Yet, as soon as someone leaves its soil, it calls for their return.

 

The most difficult part of yesterday was trying to catch the final bus leaving Jericho at four, since the Israeli occupation was searching cars in Jabi'. With my eye watching the time move slowly I became more and more restless waiting for our car to be checked. I used my mobile phone to call family, friends and the office in an attempt to quickly pass time till our turn came.

 

Time goes extremely slowly when having to wait. However, the driver's optimism and assurance that I will make the final bus leaving for the bridge eased my tension slightly.

I looked at my watch when reaching the Jericho checkpoint; the driver noticed and told me politely: ''you will get there on time, we still have half an hour before the last bus reaches the border''.

 

It was only May, and the weather in Ramallah was fair, but in Jericho the scorching heat was above average, which made me look for a shaded place to sit.

 

The bus was late since there were not enough passengers. This maybe because not many people have heard of the new timetable, or they had better sense than I did. What if the final bus had not arrived?!

 

While waiting for the bus to arrive I paid the entrance fee, and the Palestinian police officer recorded my name in the departure list. Everything was now ready; all that was left was for the bus to arrive.

 

It took ages for the bus to arrive, but when it did I counted the number of people on it and they did not exceed five passengers. I was lucky for the coach to have such a small number on board. I carried my laptop and hand bag, got on to the bus heading for the crossing point where for the first time I got to choose my seat. Usually, I would have to settle for any vacant seat, at other times I would have to stand due to an over load of passengers. I took a seat on the shaded left side of the coach, and started to make a few phone calls before I lost signal.

 

The car was approaching the entrance to Al-bak'aa refugee camp, which is a narrow street that barely fits one car. The car slows down and Shireen from the Diakonia organisation takes out her file-a-fax to look up the address where the training will take place. She tells the driver: ''here here''. A number of women were seated waiting for something, it was later that I learnt we were outside an UNRWA health clinic. I followed Shireen who had the address; we split the training material and books between us, and made our way to the social rehabilitation centre.

 

Ali, head of the committee at the centre was waiting for us, I had met him the night before when he came to welcome us and inform us about the centre. Yet, I was not concentrating much yesterday, due to the tiring as well as stressful journey. In addition, to make things worse the material I shipped for the training did not arrive as planned and it took numerous phone calls before the material reached my hotel room.

 

Ali's voice brought me back again to Al-bak'aa refugee camp, to the centre where we will conduct training to teach workers how to integrate disabled people within society, living in Palestinian refugee camps in Jordan. I was happy to learn that the centre depends on volunteer work, and I was pleased to hear of their committees efforts to bring support to the centre in order to continue offering facilities.

 

I could tell from Ali's eyes that he had a query on his mind, he went quiet again, which made me feel he was determined to ask. He looked at me while asking: ''there is a poet who has the same name as you, is she from the same family?'' he paused before continuing: ''or are you her?'' I smiled raising my hand. He said with a smile on his face: '' we wanted to know something about you, but you have taken us by surprise, you are a poet! You have to recite some of your work for us''.

 

Moments later, a man carefully entered the office, Ali introduced him: ''Mr. 'Adnan, director of Al-bak'aa centre for social rehabilitation''.

 

Mr. 'Adnan seated himself while Ali continued his tour of the centre explaining the facilities it has offered to people with special needs. He also informed us that the centre has created awareness in the refugee camp on the issue of disability, and has changed people’s view of the disabled.

 

Ali led us to the hall where training will take place, there where a group of girls waiting who informed me they represent refugee camps across Jordan. When I asked about the male participants, Mr. Adnan laughed and said: ''there is only one, me''.

 

I was amazed while listening to each participant telling me how much they love their work, and what was so surprising is the pride and dignity they have for volunteer work. They all had opinions on the social aspect of the training course, which is sponsored by the Swedish organisation Diakonia. Sawsan pointed to: ''introducing changes to the programme'', Ni'meh added: ''we want to change some aspects'', Majdoleen emphasized: ''exchanging experiences is important on a professional, as well as, social level''. As for Mr. Adnan, who the participants called 'Abu Ghalib', mentioned: ''we have to alter regulations, so as to assure equality between both sexes.

 

Abu Ghalib's answer was unanticipated in a situation where he is the only male participant. Yet, his answer showed knowledge of the subject matter of the training itself. His presence was very much welcomed, he has a great sense of humour, and had many stories to tell, especially those of detainment and torture, which caused his loose of sight. Abu Ghalib stands firm to his opinions, as well as, the reason behind his detainment and torture. I wondered about the kind of relationship he has with his family, seeing as most freedom fighters divide their political views from that of their social. I concluded from his stories and the testimonies of the participants, that Abu Ghalib was not a typical man, but shared a friendship with his wife and life partner.

 

The training was an opportunity for me to learn from him and the participants. During the training period I used all methods to make it a self discovery process, one of conclusions, and analysis of social relations. Mr. Adnan mentioned: ''I have been to a lot of courses during my life, but I have not attended one as well planned and equipped as this one''. Ena'm added: ''I have also taken to a lot of courses, yet this time there is something new. The use of literature to interpret concepts is an effective approach. Additionally, what we learnt in an hour from the caricature would usually take three days using traditional techniques''. Nu'aima said: ''we thank you, because you have given us the opportunity to discover and interpret, which makes us feel we have contributed''. Majdoleen added: ''this course has not been typical, being given choices is something very important to me to change perspectives''. Sawsan mentions: ''we now see things in a different light'', whereas Mr. 'Adnan finds: ''this course guides us through the concepts, now we have to practically apply them in our work''.

 

Each of their comments was heart felt, and I tried my best not to get emotional. However, when Mr. Ali gave me a slate carved in the shape of Handala with an old key of a Palestinian home hanging from it, one that had lived many years in Al-bak'aa refugee camp, I was overwhelmed in two ways. First, I was at Al-bak'aa refugee camp on May 15^th, as we were only mid way through the course. The place I was in made me emotional as its people were made refugees twice, once in 1948, and then again in 1967, yet they still keep hold of their keys. I felt unworthy of such a gift, and felt great gratitude towards all the participants and people involved at the centre. They all made me feel at home, in addition to honouring me twice, once for having me, and once again for giving me both the symbol of forced emigration as well as return in one gift.